Wednesday, December 15, 2004


"Zwillinge, zwillinge!"

I blog a lot about rising pop-Nazi folk (no pun intended) icons Prussian Blue--not to be confused with the real band Prussian Blue, who are to the best of my knowledge neither a folk duet nor Nazis. Yet there is one aspect of the Gaede twins I've never touched upon: the inescapable irony of white supremacist twins.

Mengele's Children, as they were called, consisted of 1,500 pairs of twins, the children of gypsies, Poles, political prisoners, Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, and the like. While only 200 of these Auschwitz twins were still alive when the Soviets liberated the camps, the upshot of being one of Mengele's Children was that you didn't get gassed right away like your folks. Instead, you had the privilege to be part of the onward march of science--or charlatanism, in Mengele's case. The Angel of Death is a moniker you have to work hard to earn, and work was something Josef Mengele knew a lot about. If you were one of his precious twins, you could expect such luxuries as:

-Having your blood drawn daily.

-Having your genitals removed.

-Having organs--including a stomach or heart--removed without anesthesia.

-Being injected with your twin's blood and visa versa, causing fever and sickness.

-Having your eyes injected with colored dye to see if it eye pigment could be altered, often causing blindness.

-Having your spine severed.

-Being injected with chloroform or phenol along with your twin, causing near instant blood-coagulation to see which one of you died first--or if you would in fact die at the same time.

Finally, once you had outlived your usefulness, you would have the not-so-rare opportunity for a walk to the gas chambers--something Dr. Death thought somewhat of a game. Indeed, he called it "On the way to the chimney." (Personally, I think a more appropriate name for it was, "IBM: Solutions for a Small Planet.")

Lynx and Lamb probably find it inconceivable that they'll ever look like the gypsy twins featured in this photograph. Of course, one has but to look at Mary-Kate Olson to know that it doesn't take much. Some twins just have all the luck. Most of the ones at Auschwitz didn't even get their own clothing line. Aside from that, imagining the Gaede twins being injected with phenol, going blind from dye shots, or having their genitals removed is a difficult--but not entirely unpleasant--thing, to be sure.

Word has it that Mengele has since relocated to Argentina. I know it's a long way away, but if we could raise enough money, perhaps we could do something great for the twins and their dear mother. I dare to dream, sweet reader, that one day we might be able to save up enough to send the twins a one-way plane ticket into the Angel's arms, a sacrifice they would doubtlessly make for the advancement of "their race" (in this case the phrase "their race" means whites, not pathological prepubescent douchebags). Needless to say, we'd be rid of their tired song and dance, and the irony would be as delectably dulcet as their "music" is not.

I gotta say that I don't think it's the twins' fault. Yes, they're hateful, but it's their parents and how they were raised that's to blame. They're probably still young enough that someone could take them and show them what they should really be believing. Ship the mother off to Mengele ... maybe he'd experiment with her due to lack of the availability of twins.
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