Wednesday, December 15, 2004

 

This Just In: Prussian Blue Actually Suckier Than Bands They Cover

This Just In: Prussian Blue Actually Suckier Than Bands They Cover

One kind reader was polite enough to post the links to two tracks by Lamb & Lynx. All you have to need to do is get a whole lot of booze, right-click, and save-as.

"I Will Bleed For You" -- mercifully, this one gets cut short at the end.

"Skinhead Boy"

I'm no fan of Ken McLellen. In fact, I'm also no fan (if you haven't figured it out yet) of white supremacists. And while I haven't the least fucking clue who Ken McLellen is, one thing I can tell you is that Ken McLellen would not appreciate the hatchet Lynx and Lamb took to his song (that I've never heard before), "I Will Bleed For You." The first thing you'll notice is that Lynx's violin is flat. How flat? Well, about as flat as Lynx herself would appear to be at the tender age of eleven. Take it from me, a lonely blogger who started playing violin when he was eight: Lynx's violin skills leave a lot to be desired.

The second thing you'll notice is that while neither have voices fit for any performance venue beyond their own shower, they also can't sing in harmony. I know what you're thinking: that's okay, they're only eleven. Problem is, they aren't trying to harmonize different notes. We're talking one note here, and they can't hit the same one together.

Thankfully, Lynx leaves her violin in its case on "Skinhead Boy," seemingly a special track, as it is not available on their LP. Unfortunately, both are singing at once again, and neither on rhythm, which makes it remarkably hard to hear all the presumambly great parts about killing jews, blue eyes, and kicking ass.

There is, however, a silver lining to this off-tune stormcloud: some day, probably about four years from now, the Gaede girls, as part of their duty to their race, will take up husbands (or perhaps just one lucky husband) and begin the chore--sorry, glory--of pumping out the runts to expand their racist litter. Also, as part of their duties, being submissive wives and all, they'll probably have to give up the whole "music" thing in favor of housework like doing the dishes, laundry, meticulously cleaning their hubby's sniper rifle and polishing his genuine WWII collector's Nazi regalia. I can't see this leaving a lot of time for recording, let alone touring, which gives me great hope. But then again, maybe that's just the Jew in me talking.


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