Friday, December 24, 2004

 

Fruitcake: The Second Greatest Invention Ever By Europeans

(The Gaedes decorate their Yule tree) White Trash Nationalists may not believe in Christmas (well, at least the ones in the Naitonal Alliance), but they have their own holiday to celebrate--no, not Kristalnacht, Yule. For the Prussian Blue clan (klan?), Yule is the holiest day of the year, right after April 20th. Why is Yule some important? In April's words, "The winter holidays are upon us, and in this time when we Americans are beaten over the head with foreign cultures and traditions, like Kwanzaa and Hanukkah, it is imparative that we remember what this time of year means to OUR people." In this case, "OUR people" means "European Americans," not "douchebags." However, April seems to have somehow missed the whole "Christmas" thing. Then again, maybe it's understandable: just think of all those times you go to the mall, and the only thing you hear over the intercom are muzak renditions of "Dayenu," and the Dradle song. Oh yeah, and "Definition," by Black Star.

I know what you're thinking: what about the Santa hats (see photo above)?
Even Santa is a European tradition. Many different European peoples have their own traditional character who visits at the time of Winter Solstice, bringing gifts and treats. He embodies characteristics of Saturn (Roman agricultural god), Cronos (Greek god also known as Father Time), the Holly King (Celtic god of the dying year), Father Ice/Grandfather Frost (Russian winter god), Thor (Norse sky god who rides the sky in a chariot drawn by goats), Odin/Wotan (Scandinavian/Teutonic All-Father who rides the sky on an eight-legged horse), Frey (Norse fertility god), and the Tomte (a Norse Land Spirit known for giving gifts to children at this time of year). Santa's reindeer can also be viewed as forms of Herne, the Celtic Horned God.

You know who else he embodies? St. Nicholas, who also gave gifts to children. Hence the name "Santa" (Saint), or "Sinterklaas" (Santa Claus in Dutch).

April's point, however, is that Europeans have invented a lot of great things, like Yule. Their greatest advance prior to the mullet, however? Fruitcake. Just think of how much ingenuity it takes to create such a universally disliked food/doorstop. And you know what? They deserve it. Like April says, "Let us take back this holiday. Singing and decorating a beautiful Yule tree with family members, cooking family recipes with your children, listening to classical music written in Europe long ago, and looking forward as a people to the adventure of the coming solar year are all ways that we can take this time back to what it really should mean for us all."

In this spirit, the Prussian Blue Blog would like to wish Mark, April, Lamb, Lynx, and Dresden a happy* Yule. Don't forget the fruitcake.

*We really, really hope the NAACP or NCLR Christmas carols on your front lawn

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