Sunday, December 19, 2004

 

Bavarian Eye For The Aryan Guy

FABA: Prussian Blue's Guide To Looking Whiter Than You Already Are

In today's world of cultural integration, it can be hard to know how to tell the world, "Hey, I'm all white, baby." Well, not anymore, thanks to the Gaede girls! According to the fashion section of their new website, you too can look like you just came from your local Renaissance Fair or Oktoberfest, in a series of questionable outfits that make the shit on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy look... well, straight. Need something that just screams "stompin' kikes"? Try some lederhosen. "Haus frau"? You'll love the dirndls! Nothing says "we're gonna party like it's 1870" like a dirndl--just take it from the girls:

"Around 1870 it also became cool for the upper class ladies to wear them in the summer. Now the wearing of the traditional dirndl has become a way to show national and ethnic pride and all girls of Germanic ancestry should have one in their closet."

This shit is hip, people. It's hotter than FUBU.

Indeed, nothing scares the heebs away like a pair of short, tight leather pants, especially when combined with knee-high stockings. You'll have darkies on the run in no time. Are you an Aryan woman looking for something a little different? You've got to try lederhosen for girls:



Nothing says "I love my race" like red women's short lederhosen with hearts!


At this point you might be asking yourself, "Why would anyone actually wear this shit?" Of course if you're a self-respecting Aryan, you'd know that, while clad in the above outfit, you may be mistaken for a garden gnome, no one will mistake you for a Mexican garden gnome. Just be careful you don't end up looking like her, though, or someone could take you for a Real Doll.

What about Lynx and Lamb? How do they keep up with these trends, and more importantly, will we ever see an L&L fashion line? No one is sure, but frankly, I think I speak for all of us when I say we'd like to see hella more 12-year-old neo-Nazi girls in totally unnecessary corsets.

Comments:
"FABA"--This is absolutely hilarious, man! You hit the nail on the head. Keep up the good work.
 
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